I often asked, “what did I do to deserve you?”

What steps did I take in order to be in position to receive you?

Why did you choose to share yourself with me?

It is written in Proverbs and I truly believe….

he who finds a wife, finds a good thing

During the search for each other, several things needed to happen.

I Had to De-Clutter

I needed to clear my mind, body, and soul.  I was cluttered.  My thoughts were scattered.  I wasn’t focused.  I was trying to please too many things and too people.  Once I de-cluttered, my focus became clear on who I needed and wanted to be.  A man of integrity and a visionary.  Not only did I have a vision, but I worked on getting my vision to manifest.  The vision of a man ready to be a leader and husband for a wonderful woman.

I had to restore my body by cleansing it and preparing it to receive you.   I did that by detaching myself from others who I held on to with no real purpose.  I had to tell those who were attached that they deserve more than I am willing to give them.  I had to tell myself, I deserve more than what they are able to give me.  My soul was renewed by alone moments with God.

There you were when the clouds opened up, space was created and clutter was removed.

I Had to Accept Imperfections

I needed to be honest with myself.  I needed realistic expectations.  I looked outwardly and created a list that described my desired woman. She was perfect and flawless.  Anybody that didn’t line up with her was not the one. As long as I focused on a woman’s imperfections, it allowed me to ignore my own.

One day I had a conversation with myself and asked “who am I to deserve this perfect person on this list”?!?!  I lined my character and everything about me with that list.  I started to cross things out one by one until I ripped it up and wrote to myself about myself.  I realized with all my imperfections the biggest one was expecting perfection.  I changed my thought process, worked on me and there you were.

I Had to Decide Not to Break Anymore Hearts

I literally said the words, “I will not break another heart”.  I am not talking as if this was done intentionally.  I was not walking around asking for hearts to only play with them.  I am not taking responsibility for every relationship that didn’t work.  I am taking full responsibility for being clear, up front.  I am taking responsibility for my role.  I am taking responsibility and considering the results of the next action I take.  I am being more in tune with my intentions when it comes to you.  Being more in tune with a woman’s emotions, actions, and purpose.

Hearing that a heart is broken because of me, breaks my heart.  I had to decide not to break my own heart because I was not in a place to receive or give it purposely.  I didn’t exchange hearts with the intentions of us holding on forever.  I failed horribly at discernment because my heart was broken.  Not always broken because of pain but sometimes broken because it wasn’t put together.  Once I prayed and asked for my own heart to be healed, there you were.

My heartbeat was irregular until it matched the rhythm of yours.

Once I took effort, took steps, worked and decided to be greater, there you were.

As I address my imperfections, I appreciate yours because they are what makes you, you.  I want all of that.  I want all of you.

(Image credit:  ebony.com)