Dear Men,
We women can be a lot sometimes but that’s only because we love hard. We love you so much that we just want the same in return. We know you show it by the ‘good morning text’, surprising us at work or just simply giving us a kiss on the cheek. We love that even in front of your friends you will place your arm around our shoulder.
We love the words you whisper in our ears. We love the little moments we share but sometimes those same words and actions can be the reason why we argue. I mean if we are together, a kissy face emoji under another girl’s picture might cause an argument. Maybe even a meme on your Instagram saying, “In need of a back massage,” might cause a reaction.
Especially if we see Angela, Shanice or Pamela, all writing under your post “I got you on that massage xoxo lol smiley face.” Out trust for you is something that shouldn’t be questioned because of social media but if the shoe fits…
We all have our moments of flirting with the opposite sex or being touchy but there has to be a line drawn.
We know we can’t compare our past relationships to our future with you. Everyone is different but the same sweet nothings you are whispering now, we got from him too. We aren’t saying you are going to cheat like he did or they did. But something is always in the back of our head telling us to remain cautious. Plus our friends, our favorite television shows and the lyrics from Beyoncé’s “Ring the Alarm.”
You tell us, “You’re the only one for me.” You tell us your ex doesn’t mean anything to you. You tell us over and over that everyone knows that we are together. So we try not to let your relationship status or even posting a picture of us pose as a concern. We might do our own investigation but that doesn’t mean we are crazy. It just means we don’t want to get hurt.
We respect you and we know you respect us. It’s just that we don’t want to be hurt by you and you don’t want to be hurt by us. Sometimes our insecurities can get the best of us but it’s something we all have to work on. You just have to know that we are in this for the long run but you can’t hit us with any B.S. No one is perfect but we know eventually this hump we are facing over social media will only get better with time.
Sincerely,
Women
Dear Women,
We men have learned to love you through your “a lot”. We try to love you the way we love. We are sometimes confused or don’t realize that our ‘good morning” text, surprising you at work or kisses on your cheek/forehead were not enough. We thought putting away our “being cool” act and putting away egos in public showed you that you mattered. That’s us matching your loving hard, making you feel secure and letting you know that we aren’t ashamed of what we have. We have you!
When we whisper to you, it’s a turn-on for us too. We want you to be hypnotized by our romantic acts. We also know that if we do things for you, it benefits us later. We pay attention to your responses. We may not say it, but WE PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR RESPONSES. Good or bad, we notice. We didn’t think you would take online interactions the way you do. Especially when we see you interact online. When you post pictures and guys are all over them liking and flirting with you, we notice. We know their responses are out of your control, but when you hit like to their likes or when they put the heart emojis and you hit like, we notice. Even when you comment back to their flirting with an innocent thank you, we are reminded that’s “how we started”.
We apologize for the “In need of massage” posts because we should have tagged you or sent it directly to you. It was petty, suggestive and immature. It was in response to you sharing the “real men” posts. You share a post that may dog a man out the morning after we had an argument. Your girls tag you in a status or meme and you virtually high five them. When you post a subliminal and your ex comments, “Everything cool?”, we feel like we are compared to the guy you keep the connection with. How do we get a fair chance when the constant reminder of how you started and ended your last relationship is still within arm’s reach? Just because you heard it from him, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be valued when you hear it again. We know we are up and down too and there are some women we need to “block”. We have some insecurity as well.
When we don’t want to change our relationship status or blast everything about us, it’s not because you are a secret. We just want us to be careful and private. Not all of us are doing it because we want to keep ourselves available for other women. Not all of us are worried about losing stock online. Some of us don’t want others all in our business trying to interfere. We have seen some women post pictures and brag about how much they are in love. Then we look up and all of that has changed and we are being dogged out because everyone asks, “WHAT HAPPENED?”. When that happens, immediately everyone is looking at us. Sometimes when we post “in a relationship”, other women go to our inbox and ask, “Are you sure?” or say “I hope you’re happy.”. We just want our relationship to stay in-house until our foundation is strong enough. Can you do me a favor? Please don’t inbox another woman. Please don’t have your friends spying or asking a friend of a friend to “test” us to see what we say. Please don’t send friend requests to women that you suspect want more from me.
We promise to make it clear that we aren’t available, but please don’t expect us to post a picture in response to every women that flirts. We can do better and we will work on what makes us both feel comfortable. You don’t have to investigate because you will always find something; whether we play a part in it is different. We investigate too. How do we fix it? We don’t want social media to dictate or ruin what we have offline. Let’s learn to “like” and love each other in real life.
Sincerely,
Men
(Image credit: shutterstock.com)
