I created love where it didn’t exist. My concept of a relationship derived from a desire. The examples of catering spawned from the dream of receiving. The teaching of care revealed itself by guessing the results of how you want to feel.

The effort to please appeared internally from needing to fill a void I had growing up. I didn’t see magic so I worked to uncover the mystery. What I saw were forgiveness gifts that were just enough. From that, I built a fairytale destined for truth. Reality doesn’t save, it reveals.

I decided to example. I decided to be what escaped me. Instead of teaching I focused on being studious. So many of us are teaching women how to be, how to learn what a man wants, how to please. So many are endorsing the message of what a woman needs to do and often times we are teaching women how to completely pursue and keep an incomplete man.  I don’t want to be that incomplete man keeping you guessing.

I focused on my part. I pray you are focusing on yours.  I am not going to tell you what to do because this is about me.

I’m not letting the lack of having an example keep me ignorant of what is right.  I’ve seen a flower exchange before and my imagination created a scenario where a bouquet was handed to you with purpose.  My idea of love may seem unrealistic but my effort to achieve the creation of the environment that escaped me, won’t be.  I heard of food being ordered/delivered and I imagined me looking up your favorite dish online and recreating it with my own culinary effort.  The effort to cook it myself and have it ready when you get home.  Preparing it while you’re resting with your feet up.  I am not taking away from the delivery system; sometimes I just want to be the deliverer.

What I am doing is creating an environment that once was invisible to me.  Caring without a but, endorsing communication without attacks.  Having safety in building. Not comparing, because that led to previous destruction.

No more excuses of not witnessing love in action.  No more excuses of “I wasn’t raised that way.”  No more excuses of little to no teaching.  No more excuses of failure derailing me.  No more excuses of playing it safe.

Creating love where it wants and needs to exist.  Relationship concept desired is revealed in reality.  Receiving matched my giving, emulating the effort to sustain.  Revelation came from the guess, trial and error, and genuine effort to fight past the excuses.

No more excuses! Let’s go walk on water together!

(Image credit: pixabay.com)