Broke From Fixing

Post author:Bashea Williams, LCSW-C
Post published:September 26, 2015
Post category:Relationships
Post comments:0 Comments

Truth is I’m broken. Not because a woman broke me. But because I’ve been fixing.

I’ve been fixing what your exes have done. Your one night stand that you planned to be a forever man decided to excuse you from his life’s plan.

His plan was 30 min long and my effort of fixing lasted 30 months long, until I’m exhausted and rusted.

Your heart didn’t bleed normally, the valves were busted and I was the plumber.

I’m trained to become the… man that renews your strength but you don’t show me that you’re healed until two relationships down the line.

You’re healed now and you gave credit to the new guy instead of the journey and efforts I put in two relationships ago.

When you met him, all your trash was disposed of and you are “New”.

I was broken to allow my cracks to be filled in with your scattered parts.

It allowed me to part from my “break” from what’s at stake but I’m no longer giving.

I’m trained to fix! Although I am not the cause of your pain, I took responsibility for your recovery.

I wasn’t able to separate and make what you need from me my legitimacy.

I should have walked away before you stepped in but the hidden talents waited and hidden faults debated when to reveal how broke I am from fixing.

Until I decided to no longer fix anything outside of me.

When I decided that, the relationship was defined and we no longer connected.

I wasn’t your heart’s maintenance man. I wasn’t your light at the end of the tunnel. I wasn’t your “at the end of the day”.

I was what I needed to be for me. I became a self surgeon. I started to disconnect the life lines connected to others and self-plugged. I filled in the cracks with my own restoration.

I’m fixing my broke.

(Image Credit: labourlist.org)

Bashea Williams, LCSW-C

Paul Bashea (Bah-Shay) Williams, LCSW-C, LICSW is described as an Intellectual Emotionalist. Someone who understands what a man thinks and what a woman feels. Helping the two meet and have common ground by encouraging emotion and logic to agree. He is a dedicated father, Licensed Certified Social Worker- Clinical, Relationship Specialist and Writer. He works with at-risk youth and specializes in marriage and family, couples, and individual counseling. He provides relationship advice to individuals and couples. He writes about life, love, and fatherhood. His writing, acting, and public speaking has been featured on panels throughout the country, Huffington Post and several other popular websites, national syndicated radio shows, television and movies. Bashea first started writing to first hold himself accountable and get a better understanding of people's hearts and minds. He loves how relationships work and operate. He strives to help others through his words. Bashea Williams has provided valuable insight on relationships, motivation, and parenting on a variety of panels and conferences. He is highly recruited and his work is valued as measurable and complete. He has years of providing counseling services for singles, couples, youth, and families. Bashea Williams has become well-known for his Trademarked Dear Future Wife series that serves as a man's guide and a woman's reference. His goal is to influence healthy relationships by having compromise, consideration, and an understanding of how people interact. You can follow his work at BasheaWilliams.com, BasheaWilliams on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.