Dear Future Wife™: It Won’t Be Perfect

Post author:Bashea Williams, LCSW-C
Post published:January 25, 2016
Post category:Dear Future Wife®
Post comments:3 Comments

We started with a sprint but hit a hurdle.

We didn’t expect it and the honeymoon ended before we could really enjoy the moment.

We had our first argument, thought it was over and everything we built was not worth the work.

We disagreed on something that we coined the breaking point.

Individually, we decided to end collectively, emotionally.

We expected a smooth ride with no waves so we didn’t bring our surfboards.

We walked away mentally while standing there physically.

We thought it was a mistake to leave our last “situationship” because this one was too hard.

We thought of the comfortable moments when we were comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Those moments were from when we enjoyed routine of misery; but at least then, we had consistency.

We live in a society of quitting because “we don’t have to take that”.

When in fact what we are taking is the easy road.

We have lived easy.

That hurdle was met by a deep breath of patience and understanding.

That ending of the honeymoon only happened because we needed to upgrade our efforts and destination.

The first argument taught us that we are lovingly different and we never planned to marry ourselves.

The breaking point was a point where we needed to take a break from arguing and re-evaluate our position to see if it was worth the dysfunction.

The emotional ending met effort to reconnect our hearts with our actions of making the moment of disconnect temporary.

The waves subsided, we realized our abilities to swim.

We held our breath during a time when trying to get air under liquid confusion didn’t work.

During the time we walked away mentally it allowed us to gather our thoughts, to think outside of the dysfunction and plan our steps to rekindle.

The last time we forced a connection with someone it left us disconnected with who we are, what we want, why we believe, where we wanted to go, when we weren’t ourselves, and how it described everything that did not demonstrate love.

So comfortable with routine, we knew it wasn’t right and we expected to be miserable.

We stepped out and knew that growing alone made us blossom and mature into what we needed to be for us to be what we needed each other to be (deserved).

My point is that it won’t be easy.

You read my words and expect the best at all times but sometimes I will be at my worst.

I pursue you and expect your best at all times but sometimes I will see you at your worst.

The difference is that we will give our best to work through our worst.

I won’t be easy, it won’t be perfect but it will be worth it!

(Image credit: prayingwoman.com)

Bashea Williams, LCSW-C

Paul Bashea (Bah-Shay) Williams, LCSW-C, LICSW is described as an Intellectual Emotionalist. Someone who understands what a man thinks and what a woman feels. Helping the two meet and have common ground by encouraging emotion and logic to agree. He is a dedicated father, Licensed Certified Social Worker- Clinical, Relationship Specialist and Writer. He works with at-risk youth and specializes in marriage and family, couples, and individual counseling. He provides relationship advice to individuals and couples. He writes about life, love, and fatherhood. His writing, acting, and public speaking has been featured on panels throughout the country, Huffington Post and several other popular websites, national syndicated radio shows, television and movies. Bashea first started writing to first hold himself accountable and get a better understanding of people's hearts and minds. He loves how relationships work and operate. He strives to help others through his words. Bashea Williams has provided valuable insight on relationships, motivation, and parenting on a variety of panels and conferences. He is highly recruited and his work is valued as measurable and complete. He has years of providing counseling services for singles, couples, youth, and families. Bashea Williams has become well-known for his Trademarked Dear Future Wife series that serves as a man's guide and a woman's reference. His goal is to influence healthy relationships by having compromise, consideration, and an understanding of how people interact. You can follow his work at BasheaWilliams.com, BasheaWilliams on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.