What happens when the dreams of making things perfect through sex do not establish an environment of control, peace, or locks in the prize? The connection of souls are not aligned. The ties you establish during sex are deeper than the moment of ejaculation or orgasm.

Have you heard of the term D*ckmatized?  It is described as a woman being “hypnotized” by a sexual encounter with a man leaving her irrational and her decision-making centers around making sure she can hold on to that man. The man knows this and plays on it. The man is able to stick out his chest because he knows and is led to believe that he put it work, sexually, and has arrived with that woman as “THE MAN”.  He was able to put her in a trance by being able to give her some of the best sex she has ever had.

The woman has experienced a moment where she feels like she reached a state of euphoria sexually and expects everything else to fall into place.  Nothing else is important as long as she receives that great sex.  The way he touched her.  The way he reached her G-spot. The way he was able to make her feel something she has never felt before. He touched the right spot of her essence! Her adrenaline was on cloud nine and her orgasm was an outer body experience. She decided at the time of their sexual encounter he was the one for her by any means necessary and all his flaws could be overlooked.  Regardless of what is going on in her life, having him in it to provide that good “D”, all was well.  She gave herself the “Miracle Question” of “If you were to wake up tomorrow and everything would be perfect, how would life be?” And her answer was “Him Inside Me”, figuratively and literally.  Because at that moment, the world seems to be perfect.

For the man, the shot to the EGO is great.  We are walking around with our chest out and looking at our manhood with admiration. Saying, thank you to our soldiers in the sexual war.  Not only did we establish our manhood but we avoided a “BDR”, Bad “D” Report.  We have something to tell our boys.  We have a reason to be confident at work.  We have a reason to post something on social media as if we don’t have any flaws.  We don’t post about the sexual encounter BUT we know at the end of the day, the responses don’t hold value in comparison to the impression we left on our sexual partners. We are that DEAL.

But the problem is that we have done it before and plan to do it again.  We played basketball last night and missed the game winning shot.  We dropped the pass that would help us win the game. We came up short at work because we were not able to complete that project by its deadline.  We were not able to answer the boss’ question. You name it! But we know that “SHE” is about to get all my frustrations and stroke my ego by saying “What are you doing to me?”.  This question is asked during the moment of intimacy makes up for all other inadequacies we experienced prior to that question.

All above sounds like a fantasy and a good thing right? The woman is feeling good and satisfied.  The man made sure he satisfied her physically and fed his ego with the ultimate food of masculinity.

But what happens when the dreams of making things perfect through sex don’t establish an environment of peace. The connection of souls aren’t aligned.  The Soul Ties you established are deeper than the moment of ejaculation or orgasm.

Here is what happens when that soul-tie is established and the assumption of dickmatized is adopted by a woman.

When we lay down with a woman sexually, we leave a piece of us inside them.  We are givers and they are receivers. We give a piece of us but they desire and deserve a whole. It’s an incomplete puzzle. A puzzle we aren’t always looking to complete with them.  We short-change them because it always isn’t a goal for us to be completed emotionally or psychologically with that woman.  We just want what’s physical. We enter them physically without a sincere promise of staying. Never considering the emotional footsteps we left.  The moment “she” is attained. The moment the most private/important body organ is wrapped around our manhood, mission accomplished.  We take it lightly that our manhood was made to procreate with their womanhood.  WE ARE INSIDE THEM!  If we, as men, think about something or someone being inside us, LITERALLY, we would second guess our motives.

Being inside a woman creates an attachment.  We attach ourselves whether we acknowledge it or not.  We have to pay attention.  This is the ultimate connection of livelihood.   The woman gives us a part of herself in hopes to forever hold on to it with you.  We ask ourselves, why can’t she let go after we have taken her essence.  We wonder why she won’t leave us alone when we are holding onto what we took.  I say took because we never intended the gift to be permanent. It was the Christmas tie.  It was that Birthday sweater that we didn’t value.

Meanwhile, they thought it through and gave with their heart. Don’t get me wrong, there are women who are detached but I am not talking about them.  I am talking about the ones we consider D*ckmatized.  Those who we say that our sex created hysteria but didn’t realize they were hysterical prior to us entering them.  We just allowed it to be comfortable enough to come out. We take lightly that our sex made her stalk, attempt to mess up the next relationship, sit up and look for ways to ruin their future, damage property, and livelihood etc.  I am sure you have an ex-lover screenshotting, texting anonymously, and stalking you based on the fact that you entered her essence and she wants that back.

I could write all day but the importance of this article is that we need to understand that the woman we take away from will come back looking to be completed with what she gave us.  There are several ways to describe it.  Call it soul-tie, attachment, stalker, etc. But the issue that everyone seems to ignore is that we create a bond that as designed for forever.  Think about the next time you enter a woman and leave your presence besides the word. Think about the next time you give your essence to someone and leave it without evaluating your future.

(Image Credit:  huffingtonpost.co.uk)

I originally wrote this article at Mr. Refined.